Men and Researcher

The city is silent and the silence in the cold night. It seems, the city where I began to dream up sleeping soundly and feel that only loneliness. One of the things that I like to think is in the dark, even crying in the dark. I close the eyes stronger, start to imagine what dark as the grave I wait. I immediately open the eyes as soon as possible.

Current five months ago, is still really strong in the embedded memory, and even up to second this. In fact, the rebel soul with what I've done to myself. That time I really did not freeze, only the still crying ago. For me, the world no longer. Many things that must be prepared when you attend because you will change many things. Some of the closest friend I was with said that they do not feel that myself and dare to take firm decisions.


"Maybe you use magic!" Ain began to look forward because no one that I respond to the serious. "You can do the! You can not continue like this, already a week!"

In the dark I remember all the smiles that have occurred. Fragile Aji I lost because I do not mind making tasks that pile up, forget the friends who always there for me. But, the heart can not deny everything, and I expect this night I miss him. Longing that I go to him who have created a map of my life changed overnight. He is capable of the day without me I surrender terms. Surrender to the beautiful love I keep silent.

Golden opportunity that I go by the waiting time. Because the most valuable when it is I do not want to Aji become the property of others. Things that have been mad I have to do is to love him so that I was chosen. Without her heart I only receive one hour, and I decided and said that he did not choose me.

In fact he knows that I have feelings for others, no longer considered as a friend. The more I remember what you have done for me, the more I miss him.

"You know, I like the small chase kites. Once I get it already, but my friends still have to have ambition."

"Finally?" I cut the story about the child.

"I can kite damaged. It's sad that time." His eyes look empty with the small

"I want to like the kite," I said.

"I want to love you like the kite. I want you I will not release the board." He was smiling. Smiles which means that he will release me.

Decisions that have been fixed dibuatnya course I did not receive. As a man he does not have the unmitigated temerity be the least. I likewise unstable himself.

"I have decided Eva," he said in the phone that morning.

I am among the happy and sad. Before I say that I love him, he had to love another woman, namely Eva. I present the time is not right. Then I ask him not to leave me for a while. He is able. During her there with me, he realized that there was love for me.

"He was angry. For, according to him I am wishy-washy in the teeth. I really like to say to him, but he does not dare to commit, and I do not want a relationship stranded without direction. The commitment that I get from you."

"Eh, no SMS from Eva," he said suddenly, I subside, fear.

"He ask me to contact him soon, I need you fear, I call again later. I do anything right, you do not be afraid."

Almost one hour more I am waiting to contact me again. Somehow what is happening.

"Eva the decision. He dares committed." Without directly kuminta he explains. I still do not know what should be said. "You certainly can Get it all." That last word in the phone.

Ripen the night, do not feel wet pipiku remember everything. He is a man of kite flying high and went with the wind. And I will never know where he went to land, land his heart. At first I just want to love himself in the silent, the more I save more and therefore I am weak.

So many words that he say, but no one has ditepatinya. In fact I have not forget to put all of it. This evening I'm suffering from insomnia for the time. I turn on the lamp room, and I search all about him.

*) Endah Tri Utari Amboina